normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We left the knife in your bed.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
