If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
