Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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