Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
