She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
