Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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