So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
