I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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