He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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