You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
