question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
