I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this will be a night to untag.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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