3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
