we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
