i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
