he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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