Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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