Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
