so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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