maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
