I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
