Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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