I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize