Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize