Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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