these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My feet surprised me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
