i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
