How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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