im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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