Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
