Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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