I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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