I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
