What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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