I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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