brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
