why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
In America we eat man semen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
