I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
