sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
