You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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