I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
