i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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