That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
