i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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