let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
