woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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