He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
