For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
