And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
