Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
worst night to have a conscience
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
