she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
