why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
