ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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