My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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