I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize