She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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