My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize