Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
