can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Bring me that man meat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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