I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
