with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The uberlube is also flammable
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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