YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
