He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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