i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
